Today is my 38th birthday.
I will be going to the hair salon to have my gray hair covered up. I will go to the auto shop to pick up my car, which got a flat tire on Thursday when I drove over a railroad spike on the way to the chiropractor. I was very lucky, my chiropractor fixed my back and then changed my tire for me. I will make myself a birthday cake (but not dinner, the Mister will bring home take-out, because I do not cook on Fridays and especially not on Fridays that are my birthday). And....thus concludes my exciting plans for my birthday.
My youth called, it wants its stuff back.
*************
I wrote a much longer blog post, but am too chicken to post it. It was in large part an online therapy session prompted by becoming old and having accomplished nothing my younger self thought I would. (Only old people worry about getting older, right?) I am having a healthy doubt session of Where Do I Belong? mixed in with a large helping of Are You The Person You Thought You'd Be?
If anyone who reads this is over forty, tell me I'm just a baby and hoo boy, wait till you see the mental morass you'll have at fifty.
I will be going to the hair salon to have my gray hair covered up. I will go to the auto shop to pick up my car, which got a flat tire on Thursday when I drove over a railroad spike on the way to the chiropractor. I was very lucky, my chiropractor fixed my back and then changed my tire for me. I will make myself a birthday cake (but not dinner, the Mister will bring home take-out, because I do not cook on Fridays and especially not on Fridays that are my birthday). And....thus concludes my exciting plans for my birthday.
My youth called, it wants its stuff back.
*************
I wrote a much longer blog post, but am too chicken to post it. It was in large part an online therapy session prompted by becoming old and having accomplished nothing my younger self thought I would. (Only old people worry about getting older, right?) I am having a healthy doubt session of Where Do I Belong? mixed in with a large helping of Are You The Person You Thought You'd Be?
If anyone who reads this is over forty, tell me I'm just a baby and hoo boy, wait till you see the mental morass you'll have at fifty.
happy birthday!
ReplyDelete38 is NOT old last time i checked. the end.
Happy Birthday Lisa!
ReplyDeleteHappy Happy Birthday! Go celebrate all the life you've had! 38 years young ain't bad, sista!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! As my 95-year-old Grandma likes to say about birthdays and getting older: Getting one year older sure beats the alternative.
ReplyDelete38 (and 40 for that matter) didn't phase me, but I think I was so deep into mommying and working that I couldn't get my head up high enough to look around and notice how the landscape was changing.
On my next birthday I'll be 48, and it's different now. I feel a bit like Rip VanWinkle; somehow, when I wasn't looking, everyone my age got sort of...old. Kids I went to high school with are grandparents. (WTF?!?) Movie stars my age are looking like somebody's aging mom or dad. I still feel a lot like I did when I was in the demographic most targeted by advertisers (and don't look all that different), but...
Yes, unnerving. When I let myself start feeling too funky about it, I think of my Grandma. And try to get myself planted firmly in the day I'm in, noticing all the great things I have right now. Mostly works, most of the time! :-)
Wishing you a happy day with those who make you happy!
Happy Birthday! What kind of cake are you making?
ReplyDeleteWell, I have thoughts like that at 33. So I guess that just means we are AWARE and THOUGHTFUL about our lives, right? Happy Birthday to you - and you have a fabulous chiropractor! HA
ReplyDeleteHah! I'm 48, so you really are a baby! No worries; I think we all go through that as we approach the end of our 30s, and then the 40s hit and they are WONDERFUL. I'm serious. Not a bad decade for me at all. Kids are teens (and well behaved too) and more independent and haven't needed babysitting for YEARS.
ReplyDeleteAs I approach 50, one will be going off to college, and I miss him already, even though he's got two years left. So I'm really thinking that my 50s won't be my best decade, or at least the first half of it anyway.
So yeah, you are on your way to the best decade of your life so far. You just have to get through the next two years.
Have a great birthday! You are not old--late thirties are the new late twenties:)
ReplyDeleteI am 43 and can totally identify with what is on your mind. I especially had a hard time turning 40 because I realized that there is no turning back - when you're 40 you're truly an adult. Since I was 35 I've been having the whole "am I where I want to be in my life?" "Who am I?" etc. etc. - especially since I took a very traditional path (husband, kids, house, dog)and I never saw myself where I am. It's quieted down a bit over the last 3 years, but it's still there. I would love to read your post.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to your post. I am over 40 and aging - especially menopause - is no fun. I fight back by going to the gym and eating healthy foods. I refuse to let it defeat me!
ReplyDeleteI've been lucky about my hair, though. So far, no gray hairs! It just stays blonde. I'm very happy about that.
Oh, I forgot to say it -- Happy Birthday!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy happy belated birthday, from one no-cook-on-Fridays girl to another!
ReplyDeleteI suspect I can relate to some of those Big Life Questions you hint at; as I'm closing in on 35, the "Are You the Person You Thought You'd Be?" keeps popping up.
I would love to read the full version of this post. I too have had those days all too often recently , looking over my shoulder and wondering if this is all there is? Did I make the right choices, no do-overs anymore at the ripe old age of 42. I hope you have no regrets...and a belated Happy Birthday to you!
ReplyDeletesincerely,
trapped in eastern PA hahah
Happy (belated) birthday! I, too, would love to read the full version of this post. Pretty please? ;)
ReplyDelete