Horoscope of Doom

The other day Crazy Aunt Purl noted that she had received the Horoscope of Doom, and since I share the same astrological sign as Crazy Aunt Purl, I had to go and read it.  And it really is the Horoscope of Doom.  Apparently the beginning of March will be awesome, but the end of March is retrograde and full moon-ish and all sorts of horrible things will happen.

Upon seeing this, I sent an email to my sisters noting the horrible end of the month, which does seem to correspond to a few things I have going on (although not defending my thesis or grant-writing) and asking if I should be worried.  Here are their (multiple, ever-so-helpful) responses:

Well hopefully defending your thesis goes well!  And how is that grant application going?  Also, it’s interesting to know you will win your court case, but then agree to settle anyway.  And gosh, as the mother of three children, it is impossible to believe that you may have to juggle many conflicting needs at the same time.  luckily that only occurs in March, that would be really hard if it happened all the time, huh.  Perhaps the Mister is the “high level influential person behind the scenes” who will help you? :P

Geez, my horoscope says I will need surgery this month, and go through identity theft.  These are really specific predictions!  I will also receive a large sum of money from other people if I wanted to produce an album or a screenplay.   It is also possible that me and my partner will have in-vitro fertilization around march 11^th and it would be a very good time to do so. 

Shoot, I have to cancel our trip to Austin, it says this is not my best month to travel and to postpone  my trip to April.  Is that ok with you guys?

Sounds like March should be interesting for me too!!  
-Sister # 1

Well, mine told me I should have met a new partner in January, so I should work on that.   Little late.  Thanks for the notice...However, at the same time, i've been feeling very unhappy with my partner, so I should also break up with him.  That makes no sense.  I should work on developing my feelings with my partner just to dump him?

I shouldn't make any big spending plans until April b/c I'll know what's going on then.  Apparently i will be spending my money very unwisely until then.  AND GREAT NEWS!  I'm going to get pregnant, but then, be upset b/c i can't afford it.  Damn money.

But then, March 27, apparently I will realize i DO have enough money.  phew.  that's a relief since i'll be having a baby in like 8 months at that point. 

My march sounds quite tumultuous.  Can't wait!

Who's the baby daddy?

 -Sister # 2

I’m kind of curious why I would even consider in-vitro…

After paying for that, I doubt I would have enough to produce my screenplay L

-Sister # 1 

Im glad there will be new babies in the family and that the new babies are not one of MY dire predictions; i have enough on my plate with defending my thesis. 
-Lisa

Do you believe in horoscopes?