State of the Blog: people change

For the last decade, decor has been my hobby.  Ever since the Mister and I first moved in together and bought enormously overscaled furniture for our teeny-tiny apartment, making a pretty home has occupied most of my spare time.  Things have changed a bit over the years--I've added babies, cooking, special needs, and IEPs to my voracious list of reading materials.  But decor was always a hobby, something I did to relax.  Making things with my hands and producing something that added beauty and value to my life was pleasurable to me.

I also started this blog at a challenging time in my life.  I had three kids under four.  We were broke; we had sold our home at a pretty big loss and moved 100 miles away into an attic apartment so that we could all be together instead of the Mister commuting over five hours a day.  I met very few people and had a really hard time making friends in that town.  I started the blog looking for community and a sense of belonging.

I also wanted some intellectual stimulation.  I had quit my job as a law professor and wanted something to occupy my mind beyond wiping up bodily fluids. (There's a lot of bodily fluids with a newborn, a 19 month old and 3.5 year old.) I do think there is value in design--would you rather sit in an easy chair or a church pew?  Would you rather spend your time in a windowless basement or a light-filled gazebo?--but much of my "intellectual stimulation" focused on decor shopping.

I won't say that all good things come to an end, but I will say that I've slowed wayyyy down on the decor front. I used to look at a room that needed painting and a new furniture arrangement and think "squee! Something fun to do!"  Now I look at that room and think "ugh, my time and my money."  Decor just isn't giving me the same pleasure that it used to.

The past few years my focus has shifted from blogging about decor every day to focusing on providing the best opportunities for my kids.  As they've gotten older, their needs have grown more intense.  Their needs have also grown more expensive, and those needs take priority over spending money on decor.

I also haven't needed the community I found through blogging as much as I once did.  While I still enjoy reading other's blogs and commenting, I do so much less.  I've found friends here in California and my sense of community is stronger outside the computer than in, for a change.

Over the past year or two I started really reading up on minimalism, because I felt that my interest in decor was waning, and I was looking for something else in my life.  Mindless consumption of decor wasn't helping me feel good anymore.  I started decluttering and purging, and while I havent missed much of the stuff I've gotten rid of, I haven't felt the need to keep going with that.  I get mild "ugh, ALL THIS STUFF" feelings every so often, but I don't have a feeling of being overwhelmed by stuff.

I think I figured out what the problem is---I got into minimalism because I was interested in frugal living and saving more money. My children's medical and educational needs are incredibly expensive, and I'm always looking for where I can find more money in our budget.  My problem is not that I'm a frustrated minimalist.  My problem is that I got sidelined into minimalism when my real interest lays in figuring out how to better use our money. (Hint: decor is not the best use of our money when we spend thousands of dollars on therapy and education every month.)

Regardless of whether I am a minimalist or a not-very-proficient frugal living enthusiast, the upshot is--you may have noticed--I'm blogging a lot less than I used to.  One of the drawbacks to blogging mainly about DIY decor is the need to buy things and produce blog content with it.  I'm just not in a place in my life right now where I want to spend time and money on decor.

I feel that the people in my home are what I want to spend my time and money on.  Our home is reasonably useful, filled with comfortable furniture and meaningful items, and the focus for us is creating good experiences, not pretty surroundings.

This is starting to sound like a "so long, farewell" sort of post to the four readers who followed me over to this blog.  It isn't.  I don't want to stop blogging.  I'm just trying to figure out what the next phase looks like.

Have you ever had a shift in focus where what you like is no longer what you like so much, even though you don't hate it, and you want to focus on something a little different?

P.S. Just to keep you on your toes, the next post will be about decorating the guest bedroom.