Monday, February 13, 2012

little things, friends

Recent conversation:

Me: Brr, its cold! Its supposed to snow tomorrow!
Greg: Do they have snow in California?
Me: No, not too much...maybe in the mountains, but where we are going to live it is very sunny and warm all year round.
Greg: (gasp of horror) No snow?!?!  Do they have Christmas?????

We have a landline.  Do you have a landline?  If yes, you are over 35, right?  The only people who ever call us on the landline are our parents.  Literally. I can scroll back through 21 days of calls on the house phone, and every single one of them is one of our parents.

We have moved five times in the last nine years.  On average, we move about every two years.  We also tend to move about an hour north or south from the previous location, usually because of a new job.

For a delightful four year period we lived in south Jersey, where nearly all of my family lives and most of our friends live. I grew up in south Jersey, and the Mister and I went to law school there. When we lived there (we moved twice, but those were down the street moves) I had a group of four friends from high school that I saw once a month for dinner, and the Mister and I had some couple friends that we would hang out with once or twice a month.  We are not party animals, and we also spend a lot of our time with our extended families, but we had a nice social life.

I do not make friends quickly or easily.  I tend to hang back and assess for a while.  I also tend to have a few close friends rather than a large crowd.  I've noticed that every time we move, it takes me six months to a year to make new friends. This means that for the past few years, we move, I have a lonely year, then I find some friends for a few months, then we move far away again, and any friendships I may have struck up are generally relegated to email/texting and the occasional playdate every few months, and the cycle starts again.  Case in point, in the past few weeks I have found some people I like here, and now we are leaving. Again.

I'm really hoping that when we get to California we can settle down for a while.  I am somewhat hermit-like by nature, but this is too hermit-y even for me.  Unfortunately, I know that we are renting for the first year in California, and then we will buy a house.  I'm afraid that we won't find a house in the same area as our next apartment, and any friends I might make will be left behind yet again.  I'm afraid that I won't make any friends at all the first year and then I'm looking at two years of hanging out with only my children.  (I foresee a lot of locking myself in the bathroom if that's the case.)

I am not all that excited at the prospect of "putting myself out there."  Yes, with that attitude I am doomed to fail, I know, I know.  Its just seems harder to make friends as an adult.


We have scheduled our apartment-hunting trip for the end of February (only two days to find something, ack), so hopefully we will find an apartment in a forty-eight hour time span, and then we can get down to the nitty gritty business of decorating it.   Nope, there ain't much decorating going on in this house. In fact, I need to start purging post-haste.  I guess I could start with our winter clothes.

If you are local to NYC and you want a free campaign desk with a hutch (looks like this, although its blonde and white, you can paint it the color of your choice), drop me a line.  


  1. Nope, I have a landline and I'm only 30 (though...hubby is 36, so I suppose we still fit in your age group). We actually have quite a few calls on it because I give out that number and NOT our cell phones. :-)

    I hear ya on the friends thing. We moved back to the area where I grew up, but we basically have no close friends. It's hard at times, but then it also makes me feel like we could pick up and move and not be losing too much.'s a toss up.

    Looking forward to following your move, your apartment finding, and your purge! :-)

  2. I hear you on the friends thing. We've lived in the same place now since 2008 and I still don't really have any friends. The only friend I do have is in the french military and is leaving this summer. I'm really not a loser, I swear. I just work full-time, have a 3 yr old and no social life to speak of:(

  3. Hello! If no one else has claimed it, I would LOVE the desk!! My email address is sweetcarolinabride at gmail dot com

  4. Wait, what - when did California happen? I apologize for missing that - also, hooray! CA is an incredible place, even for introverts (*raises hand*) . . . speaking of, if you're moving to the southern bit of CA, maybe I can be helpful as far as welcome wagon-style introductions?

  5. I've been lucky and lived in the same place for ages, but I totally hear you on the hermit-y tendencies and few-but-close friends. I'll be sending you good vibes for your apartment hunt, move and subsequent friend-finding!!!

  6. I agree, it is a lot harder to make friends as an adult, especially when you have kids and the busy life that generally goes with having kids. But you have to keep putting yourself out there and give it time. Which sucks. Good luck!

    Oh, and we have not had a landline since we moved 3+ years ago, and we were under 35 at the time. ;)

  7. We've moved a lot too. I'm also a hermit, but I find myself so busy with kids, work, and life that I don't have tons of time for friends. I think it's easier to make friends once you have kids. (e.g.ther moms from school, activities, etc.) I'm VP of our PTO this year and have made some new friends (at least social acquantainces) in the other board members. Good luck finding an apartment, and be sure to keep us updated!

  8. Has the desk already been spoken for?..


Yay! You're commenting! I love comments!