Friday, February 3, 2012

California

In the last week of August of 1998, I was driving to class at law school, and was stopped at a light.  As I sat there waiting for the light to turn green, I was swamped with an overwhelming wave of misery.

I was a week into law school and had an inkling that law school was full of people much smarter than I.  I was in my seventh year of an unhappy dating relationship. I had moved home and back into my childhood bedroom, just as every independent woman dreams of doing.  I had applied to three dream law schools in California, been wait-listed at two of them, and outright rejected from my please-oh-please-please-please-accept-me school, and was instead attending a much cheaper in-state law school less than ten minutes from my parents' house.

As I sat at that light, grumpily contemplating my life, the song "Ready to Run" by the Dixie Chicks came on.  At that moment my heart rebelled.  DRIVE, YOU IDIOT, it said, just drive the hell on up out of here.  Get out of Dodge.  Just go, go, go--GO ANYWHERE BUT HERE.  LEAVE NOW.  Keep driving till you hit California and figure it out when you get there.

I still think of that moment every time I hear that song, even now, nearly fourteen years later.

My follow-the-rules body ignored my rebellious heart and kept on driving to Torts class. I made my way to the private parking lot on the edge of campus where I had bought a parking spot for the school year, and parked at the very end in my assigned spot.  As I got out of my car, a giant blue Buick roared through the gate and swung into the spot two cars down from mine.  A cute boy got out, swung his bookbag onto his back, adjusted his earphones into his Walkman (dude, it was 1998), and he headed off across campus, without once ever looking my way.

Five years later I married that cute guy who ignored me.

But at that moment, that hot summer day in 1998, I had no idea that a piece of my future had just shifted into place.  Not an inkling that that day's unhappiness would one day be replaced by love and laughter that was walking in front of me in size 11 shoes.

Now we live in northern New Jersey, and I no longer want to keep driving to California.  My fondest wish is to move back to south Jersey, the very shackles I so desperately wanted to flee fourteen years ago.

Of course, since the universe has a perverse sense of humor, we are moving to California. Maybe the universe heard me fourteen years ago and set this whole plot in motion as a way of delivering me to California when I was finally ready.  I trust it will work out just as awesome as the last time I wanted one thing but got something else. 

18 comments:

  1. California is different, but most people that go there don't want to come back from whence they came. I'm probably one of the very few people that is from Cali who doesn't want to go back...but I'm weird like that;)

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  2. Really? That is so cool! I guess you're not trapped after all :)

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  3. you are such a good writer. and yes, that is amazing how life hears you, but doesn't always answer when you think it will. hopefully you will love california! how long until you move?

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  4. Love you too babe. AND I didn't ignore you. California here we come! - the Mister

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  5. I'm going to miss you so much. :( But it's going to be so great for you guys.

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  6. I'm going to miss you so much. :( But it's going to be so great for you guys.

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  7. I'm going to miss you so much. :( But it's going to be so great for you guys.

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  8. This is a great post, Lisa.

    I hope everything works out for ya :)

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  9. Great story. Life has a funny way of turning out. What an exciting new adventure!

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  10. How exciting! I love the way you told this story :)
    I have one question: what will you call your blog??

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  11. Aww this is a sweet story. Gonna miss you tons. I hope your first trip back east is soon. Denephew or Denise2 will be anxiously waiting ;)

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  12. Best wishes for the big move. It's interesting how the world works. I have a similar story. I started orientation at law school in 1997. I was living with my parents. I hated law school and felt so inferior to everyone there. A group of my high school girlfriends was moving to Aspen and I did my first rebellious thing ever, dropped out of law school and moved to the mountains. I got a job in Aspen and my first boss became my husband almost 2 years later. A year after that I went to law school in Colorado. I haven't looked back!

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  13. Very touched by this...Did you time your move to take in the Bungalow Heaven House Tour in Pasadena on April 19th?
    Aunt P

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  14. whoops...the Bungalow Home Tour is April 29th this year.
    Aunt P

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  15. I'm so excited for you! And I love that story about the first time you saw your husband. Think of all the sunshine you are about to experience...and avocados...and fresh fruit...and ocean...

    jealous.

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  16. Great story, and I truly think CA beats NJ any day of the week!

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  17. By far, the best post you have written. Good luck to you and The Mister!

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  18. You have some seriously good story-telling skills. You should think about writing. I think you will never want to leave California!

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