Wednesday, December 8, 2010

a very slanty Christmas

Remember I said our Christmas tree was sort of slanty?

It has gone beyond slanty and crossed the line into About To Pitch Forward And Pin an Unsuspecting Family Member Underneath It.  I was a bit concerned.  I took all the decorations down and turned the slanty tree so that it now slants into the corner.  This way if it does decide to topple over it will not assault one of my children.

Sadly, the back of the tree was not as pretty as the front.  There is a large gap at the bottom, the branches are all bunchy in the middle, and now the tree looks Incredibly Slanted.  So much so that any guest who has come over this week has said something to the effect of " you sure...the kids..." and I say YES ITS A SLANTED TREE AND ITS POINTED TOWARD THE WALL AND HELD BACK WITH WEIGHTS CLEARLY I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS THAT SLANTED WHEN I BOUGHT IT ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO COMMENT ON???

Speaking of slanty, we also put together a gingerbread train.  Despite having built a few of these, it did not occur to me that when the directions says "break apart the pieces at the imprinted line" what they actually mean is "use a knife to cut the pieces".   Or your pieces will break. Apart. But not at the line.  And your peanut-allergic son may grab a piece and start to eat it, and you will Freak! Out! because the label says it contains peanuts and you will yell at your son and he will cry.  Merry Christmas!

So, since we had a few jagged pieces, our train more closely resembles Stonehenge.  A Stonehenge that leans a bit, since the jagged pieces were not quite large enough to connect to the others.  (There was a Stonehenge on stage tonight that was in serious danger of being crushed by a dwarf!)

We also made Christmas gifts for the boys to give to family members, but I apparently did not take any pictures of that.  Which is probably a good thing.  It was a crafty project, and I find crafty projects to be the devil's own handiwork, and the afternoon culminated in an adult yelling loudly, shattered glass on the floor, and a toddler with a diaper full of glitter.  Good times, people, good times.  I will never understand people who like to do crafts with their kids for fun.  I would rather stab my own eyeballs out with cocktail straws.

Moving on! I don't have ANY pictures of the three of my children that are suitable for a Xmas card.  This is sort of stressing me out.  I expect that this year's holiday card will probably say Happy Martin Luther King Day by the time I get these done and mailed.
All of my pictures look like this.


  1. Why yes, your tree IS quite slanty...

    However, the gingerbread train is just quirky, and it totally works. And I love the pic of the three of them decorating it together. They all look like they are having fun (even if you did make Peter cry).

  2. Are you aware that your tree is a little, um....? You: IT MATCHES THE TRAIN, SHUT UP.

    You totally need to do an outtakes shot this year. That one photo is funnier than all four of mine put together.

  3. Straight up-and-down trees are boring, I say!

    I LOVE that photo of your kids. The oldest is so very long suffering. "Just leave me alone, siblings."


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