All of my scars are from childbirth, and no one wants to hear about my lady bits, so I'll tell you about one of my injuries instead.
Years ago, I used to run. I loved running. I never got below a ten and a half minute mile, so I suppose you could call me a "jogger", not a runner, but it was a good workout, there was no going to a gym--just put on my shoes and walk out the door.
Then I sprained my neck and upper back. If you have never sprained your neck and upper back, allow me to tell you that your head is UNBELIEVABLY HEAVY if you are trying to carry it with your sprained neck. The first time I sprained my neck (yes, the first time--I've done it five times in the past seven years) was two weeks before my wedding. I was sitting on the sofa, watching tv, and thought, time to go for a run! I stood up, stretched, and heard the most godawful crunching noise in my neck. And dropped to the floor, writhing in agony.
I guess I wasn't really writhing, as I was actually frozen in pain, as any move at all was excruciating. The Mister took me a to doctor, who gave me Percocet. That doctor was an idiot. Percocet barely touched the pain, and did nothing for the underlying problem, which were my spasming back muscles. If you looked at me from the back, my left shoulder was hunched up to my ear. You know how if you pick a piece of string that is unraveling from a sweater, and pull on it, it will scrunch up the sweater, almost like little waves? My back muscles looked like that. You could actually feel rivers and trenches in my back muscles.
After two days of excruciating pain, my mother in law got me an appointement with the head of spinal surgery at a hospital in NYC. That doctor said, well, you sprained your neck and back, you should be better in about six months or so, here are some muscle relaxers. I was ca-razy high at my wedding. It was three months before I could turn my head far enough so that I could drive on my own, and at six months before I felt reasonably pain-free.
The second time I sprained my neck and back I was laying in bed on a Monday morning, about 6 am, and was thinking to myself, "I really wish I didn't have to go to work today." I rolled over, heard the crunching noise, and wish granted! I should have been a little more specific.
Since then I've sprained it about every year to 18 months. Nothing as bad as the first time, but still enough to take me out for a couple days.
Years ago, I used to run. I loved running. I never got below a ten and a half minute mile, so I suppose you could call me a "jogger", not a runner, but it was a good workout, there was no going to a gym--just put on my shoes and walk out the door.
Then I sprained my neck and upper back. If you have never sprained your neck and upper back, allow me to tell you that your head is UNBELIEVABLY HEAVY if you are trying to carry it with your sprained neck. The first time I sprained my neck (yes, the first time--I've done it five times in the past seven years) was two weeks before my wedding. I was sitting on the sofa, watching tv, and thought, time to go for a run! I stood up, stretched, and heard the most godawful crunching noise in my neck. And dropped to the floor, writhing in agony.
I guess I wasn't really writhing, as I was actually frozen in pain, as any move at all was excruciating. The Mister took me a to doctor, who gave me Percocet. That doctor was an idiot. Percocet barely touched the pain, and did nothing for the underlying problem, which were my spasming back muscles. If you looked at me from the back, my left shoulder was hunched up to my ear. You know how if you pick a piece of string that is unraveling from a sweater, and pull on it, it will scrunch up the sweater, almost like little waves? My back muscles looked like that. You could actually feel rivers and trenches in my back muscles.
After two days of excruciating pain, my mother in law got me an appointement with the head of spinal surgery at a hospital in NYC. That doctor said, well, you sprained your neck and back, you should be better in about six months or so, here are some muscle relaxers. I was ca-razy high at my wedding. It was three months before I could turn my head far enough so that I could drive on my own, and at six months before I felt reasonably pain-free.
The second time I sprained my neck and back I was laying in bed on a Monday morning, about 6 am, and was thinking to myself, "I really wish I didn't have to go to work today." I rolled over, heard the crunching noise, and wish granted! I should have been a little more specific.
Since then I've sprained it about every year to 18 months. Nothing as bad as the first time, but still enough to take me out for a couple days.
being high on muscle relaxers at your wedding... just reminded me of 16 candles. "she's fine, she just took a muscle relaxer" "try 4" "oh Ginny you didn't!" "mother!"
ReplyDeleteheehee, too bad we didn't have to carry you down the aisle ;)
Ohmygosh, I had the SAME sort of thing with my neck, except they said it was a slipped disc not a sprain. Worst pain ever. I was in the hospital for a week.
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