my personal design manifesto

Because "manifesto" sounds better than "self-indulgent design navel-gazing."

I've read a lot lately about designing a home around things you love.  Don't buy junk.  Don't fill up a space with placeholders.  Only buy things that really speak to you.

Its good advice, but I think there's a few problems inherent in that.  Obviously not everyone has the budget to strictly buy things they love, but more importantly, many people don't KNOW what they love.  I didn't.  It has taken me years to figure it out.  I've suffered many, many, many furniture buying mistakes.  I have thought that I just get bored with with my stuff, but the problem was really that the stuff just wasn't what I REALLY like.

I wasn't until I started reading design blogs about three years ago that I gave serious thought to what I actually wanted in my house.  In fact, its only within the last six months I've actually gotten a handle on what I really like.  I've spent alot of time refining my ideas about what I want.

I think its fairly easy to figure out what you don't like.  I can't stand primitive or shabby chic. Anything that has paint chipping off it makes me want to grab a sander and a paintbrush. (That doesn't mean YOU can't like it. Its just not for me.)  I don't like most tribal or southwestern influenced stuff, like kilim rugs or Navajo baskets. (I know, they are so hot right now! But I don't like them.)

Here's a design blog heresy--I don't really like gray.  Yes, I know, its so fresh and updated and is to this decade what builder beige was to the 90s (which means it will be outdated eventually), but I don't really like it.  I can see a room done in grays and think "oh, how pretty" and appreciate it aesthetically, but it doesn't SING to me.

A more confusing category is stuff I like but don't want in my house.  I like to look at fifties and sixties modern (hello, Mad Men), but I don't like it in my house (although the Mister does).  That has been a hard lesson learned.  That would be the problem with my bedroom.  Its calming and attractive, but I don't like the bedframe or headboard (that's a post for another day), the open shelving side tables (used because they were free, not because I like them), and I'm over the Marimekko print.  They are all just too modern.  Modern stuff strikes as me great in kids bedrooms, because it feels a bit childlike to me.  (Again, YOU can like modern all you want!  I'll come to your blog and admire it too!  I just don't want it in my bedroom or my living room.)

Here's a great picture that totally encompasses the above paragraph--I think this is a lovely room, well-curated, and there is a lot of thought and effort put into the design.  But I'd never decorate my house this way (well, aside from that peacock mirror):

image via Jonathan Adler Interior Design

That light fixture is pretty cool, the room is colorful, that orange hanging chair in the corner is interesting.  But, I don't like the style of the chairs, the tribal fabrics or the kilim rug.  While the light fixture and orange chairs are cool and interesting, they wouldn't fit in with my antique secretary or chinoiserie chairs.  There's contrast, and then there's "it just don't work cuz I don't like it."

 I love brightly colored items in stores, but when I put them in my house I'm not happy with them.  Over the past few months I've pulled out most of the BRIGHT BRIGHT stuff in our living room/dining room and replaced it with more muted colors.  Its still colorful, but not jarring or bright.  I'm much happier with it.

I need to live in a place for a while before figuring out how I need and want a space to function. We've been in this apartment for about 18 months, and I'm just now feeling happy with the way things are turning out.  We lived in our previous house for three years, and for a year we only had a sofa in the front living room because I kept trying to make the tiny back room act as our family room. It was three years of living in that house before I figured out how to arrange the furniture into a way that made sense for us.

So what is my style?  I think the Mister and I have fairly similar styles, although he tends more towards fancy modern (think Room and Board) and I tend towards shiny and glam (think Hollywood Regency).  Together we are very traditional + a wee bit of modern + glam.

One source that has helped me solidify my ideas about design in the magazine Southern Living.  I love 99% of the designs they feature. (Though their website kind of sucks. I couldn't find any of the below images on the site and had to borrow them from the blog Green Street.)

Here is a living room featured in Southern Living that embodies my personal style and what I want my house to look like.  This room sings to me--I love everything about it.

The velvet sofa, the Pier 1 mirror with the mirrored sconces, the blingy chandelier, the traditional fireplace with built-ins:

The traditional secretary with the modern lucite stool and the natural jute rug:

living room images via Green Street

I just love the whole room. Its largely traditional but with a few modern and glamorous touches.

Its taken 36 years, but I've finally figured out what I love and am working towards filling our home with it.

***UPDATE:  The Mister just told me he doesn't like the Southern Living room.  Oh, the irony.