J. Crew bathing suit

I recently ordered this bathing suit from J Crew:

I've had three kids in the last five years, I have gained and lost fifty pounds every 18 months for the last five years, and I am not exactly looking forward to getting into a bathing suit.  However, as you may have guessed since I am talking to you about bathing suits, we are taking a vacation in a warmer clime soon.

I am long past the age where I am going to (or even want) to wow anyone with my sexy bathing suits. My chestal region has improved since having kids, but gravity has attacked everything else. With a family history of skin cancer, I'm also really paranoid about exposing my skin to the sun.  I am probably the only person who comes back from vacation whiter than the day they left.

These days, I like coverage.   Lots of coverage.  I do not want to expose the underside of my bottom, I do not want to show the world my bellybutton (oh, such a change from 1996), and I am happy to look like the demure, prudish housewife that I am.

Amazingly, this suit is demure yet quite attractive.  Unlike those tiny scraps of fabric masquerading as bathing suits at Target, this one covers my entire behind.  It plunges a bit low in the front, but the fabric covers all of the chest area, so its not like tiny triangles. 

Best of all, though, is the ruching across the stomach.  After three kids, my stomach paunch has its own zipcode, no matter how hard I work out and how many cookies I refrain from eating.  Nothing gets rid of it.  This bathing suit is made of a lycra lining panel running from just below the bust to the bottom of the suit, and the ruching distracts from the paunch.  After putting the suit on, I look merely thick in the middle instead of five months pregnant.  Woot woot!  Less pregnant looking for the win! 

I have yet to wear this suit in the water, so I don't know how it will it hold up. I'll report back after I wear it on vacation.

Bottom line: in the comfort of my bedroom, I really like how the suit looks.  It is attractive without exposing my lady parts, its is demure without being old-lady-ish,  it covers the areas I am uncomfortable exposing to the public, and makes my tummy look smaller (doesn't get rid of it, but its definitely smaller.) If you can choke down the price ($82!!), its a great bathing suit. 

You didn't seriously think I was going to put a picture of myself in this bathing suit on the interwebs, did you??

Maybe when we get back. But probably not.