I have been itching to paint something a nice glossy black, and I decided on the sideboard for my intended victim. I got my MIL to watch my barfy kids for an hour and I went to my friendly neighborhood Benjamin Moore Store. As usual, my friends who run the store denied my request for the paint I wanted and interrogated me as to what nefarious plan I had for the paint.
Honest to Pete I hate this damn store. And now, Grandma, you should avert your eyes and possibly not read further because I plan to USE MANY CURSEWORDS.
Those DOUCHENOZZLES refused to make a high gloss black paint, because they claim it is IMPOSSIBLE to make a high gloss black paint. Even if they COULD, they would only make it in an oil-based paint, but they wouldn't want to sell me THAT.
Breathing deeply, I agreed, I did not WANT to buy an oil-based paint because I planned on painting the sideboard in my dining room, and thus why would they not sell me a latex-based high gloss paint? Mumble mumble oil no latex mumble mumble why you want it anyways mumble mumble NO.
We compromised by them giving me this:
THIS IS SHIT, by the way.
Shit is not the look I was going for.
I used a tinted primer and two coats of this crap on my sideboard, and it looks terrible. Sort of a thin, watery, grayish, crappy, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad PIECE OF SHIT.
But don't worry! I have plenty of time to do stuff like paint! I don't have to wait till barfing children go to bed! No, I have lots of free time to do FORTY SEVEN coats of watery gray crap without interference. NO PROBLEM.
Why do I keep going back to these jerks?
*shakes fist in rage at the sky*
Honest to Pete I hate this damn store. And now, Grandma, you should avert your eyes and possibly not read further because I plan to USE MANY CURSEWORDS.
Those DOUCHENOZZLES refused to make a high gloss black paint, because they claim it is IMPOSSIBLE to make a high gloss black paint. Even if they COULD, they would only make it in an oil-based paint, but they wouldn't want to sell me THAT.
Breathing deeply, I agreed, I did not WANT to buy an oil-based paint because I planned on painting the sideboard in my dining room, and thus why would they not sell me a latex-based high gloss paint? Mumble mumble oil no latex mumble mumble why you want it anyways mumble mumble NO.
We compromised by them giving me this:
THIS IS SHIT, by the way.
Shit is not the look I was going for.
I used a tinted primer and two coats of this crap on my sideboard, and it looks terrible. Sort of a thin, watery, grayish, crappy, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad PIECE OF SHIT.
But don't worry! I have plenty of time to do stuff like paint! I don't have to wait till barfing children go to bed! No, I have lots of free time to do FORTY SEVEN coats of watery gray crap without interference. NO PROBLEM.
Why do I keep going back to these jerks?
*shakes fist in rage at the sky*
Blech. I would definitely never return there again. Worst paint store ever. (And yeah, that's not so pretty right now...)
ReplyDeleteArgh! Go to Lowe's and buy the Valspar High Gloss and have it tinted black. I have a giant can of it sitting in my garage RIGHT NOW.
ReplyDeleteI just came back from the Benj Moore store that is far from here, and they were very helpful and nice and gave me a can of high gloss black paint without any commentary on what I might be doing with it. I hope to tackle it this evening.
ReplyDeleteOh no! Sorry to hear about that paint store again. Saw above you scored some Ben Moore paint - that's what we use and never have problems -- hopefully you won't either. I will say reading about your experience is pretty funny, but I am sure it's definitely not at the time!
ReplyDelete